Friday, November 2, 2012


During my Sophomore year of college I took a Jan-term class in the UK. On the last evening of our trip one of my fellow classmates, Adam Ederwiser, decided to ask me to marry him...
Adam is tall, about 6'4". He's studying Theology and likes to answer all questions, even when his answers are incorrect. We are NOT compatible and I laughed off the request (both times).

After returning to the US I saw very little of Adam. On Valentines Day I was leaving my night class behind Adam, I had straightened my typically frizzy hair and it was pouring rain. I was focusing on getting back into the dorm before the rain ruined my hair. (My vanity will be my ruin!) When I was half-way across the parking lot Adam yelled to me, "Hey Maggie will you go on a date with me?" I was very focused on the rain and my hair at this point and the fog must have addled my thought because before I knew what I was saying I yelled back, "I'd LOVE to!" WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!

By the time I got over the shock of what I had agreed to I went to my room and had a message on the good old Facebook. After convincing him that 4:30pm was WAY too early for dinner we finally agreed on a time and a date. He replied, "I will be wearing a charcoal gray suit with purple or gold underlays, what would you like to match with."

The fated day and time came. He showed up at my door explaining that, "I was going to get a cab but it fell through, I hope you're ok with the bus."... I drove. In the car: "I would have a car but instead I have this $500 suit."

Then we got to the restaurant and were WAY overdressed. We sat down to dinner which was mediocre at best. The salad bar was wilted lettuce with canned veggies still soaking in their juices. The soup was so salty you couldn't taste anything else and the rolls were cafeteria rolls served with smart butter. To Adam it was "the best soup in our town!" So we know he has a bad taste in food, I might have been able to deal with that, then he started to chat...
1. He knows nothing about delicious cuisine
3. He told me the Muppets were better than Disney because they understood that children have a different Psychology than children.
4. He dissed country music
5. He dissed Frank Sinatra!!!

I could have handled the top 4 and he warned me that he wasn't all that good at smalltalk before we breached the topic of music. The conversation continued

Me: I like Jazz too, I really like Frank Sinatra

Adam In a pompous know it all tone: Oh Frank Sinatra is fine but not as good as people who have done COVERS of Frank Sinatra. He just doesn't have enough tension in his music. You know that really good tension...15 minutes later... Sometimes I worry that there won't be tension in eternity. You know that really good tension, but then I know there has to be. That's just the HUMBLE opinion of a MASTER in Theology.

WHAT!!!!!!!!!! At this point the waitress saved us by bringing the check. But let's backup... A MASTER IN THEOLOGY! FRANK SINATRA NOT BEING BETTER THANT THE PEOPLE WHO COVERED HIS MUSIC!!!! THIS GUY IS CRAZY! And a sophomore in an undergrad program studying Theology he is neither a Master in theology nor a master in music and therefore should not make brash comments about either!!!!!

Adam didn't talk to me much the rest of that year, but since then he has asked me to marry him once more making the running total 3 proposals in 3 years. My answer is consistently NO.

Starbucks Boy

All had been going well, I'd been avoiding awkward boys and having time to focus on my studies. This seemed to be important as I recently had a 50 page paper/assessment to turn in that would dictate weather or not I am adequate as a future teacher. To assist my study and writing I decided to spend the Sunday before the due date of this "Totally Painless Assessment" working at various coffee shops around my town. After I overstayed my welcome at the first two institutions I moved to the world of corporate coffee and set up camp Starbucks. Sat down with my coffee and promptly began to work.

This was all going well TPAing, checking Facebook, checking my email, looking at the TPA, thinking about how I would love no more than to spend the beautiful Sunday typing commentaries about lessons I taught. All of a sudden a young(ish) man interrupts my hard work and concentration to complement my shoes. I don't blame him, cute red shoes cannot be ignored, but it didn't stop. He kept talking...and talking...and talking. "I just have to ask you what are you doing on your computer?" Quickly directing away from my pinterest boards and Facebook stalking I truthfully responded, "Oh I am VERY BUSY writing a 50 page paper for my student teaching experience." The goal was to deter any further conversation. Apparently deterring strange people is a skill I need to practice. After a short conversation I turned back to my work, but 15 minutes later I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was him. "Hey so I'm headed out but I was wondering if we could, like, exchange information or something so we could talk sometime? Maybe get coffee?" Thinking about all my stranger danger classes and all the things my roommates would say I quickly said, "OH SURE!" (shoot I really need to practice saying No). Well that was that, I gave him my number, off he went, and I finished my TPA!!!!!!!

I nearly forgot about the entire encounter until Wednesday when he called as I was beginning the 30min drive to the contra dance across town...

"Hi, this is Franklin Kooper, we met at Starbucks the other night."
"Oh Hi!" I happily responded and we exchanged a few pleasantries but he just kept on talking. First it was about the movie he had just gone to see with his friend John. Then a description of the screenwriters journal his mother purchased for him for his birthday which would be on Friday. He proceeded to explain how he decided he wanted to be a screenwriter. "So when I graduated community college in the late 90's (Note the writer of this blog was 8 or 9 at that point) I decided I wanted to go to Evergreen College to study Journalism. I planned to return to this town to start my own newspaper. When I was getting close to graduating I found an add that offered the first 10 minutes of a 30min Psychic session free.  I usually don't put much stock in Psychics unless they have some proof, but I decided why not and went to ask her about a girl I was interested in dating and what I should do after graduating. She told me that after I graduate, in the future, I would be working on Hollywood. I knew I didn't have the skill to be an actor so I deducted she must mean I would be a screenwriter. I decided not to tell anyone about the Psychic and instead let the power that she saw lead me to my destiny. So in 2006, after I graduated, I moved back to the town I grew up in and got a job at a parking job, which I still have by the way. Soon the energy the Psychic saw lead me to meeting my soon to be friend John who also wants to be a screenwriter on Hollywood. It was clearly destiny..."

By this point I had been standing outside of the dance for nearly 10 minutes and really needed to get off the phone so I could enjoy my evening. I politely excused myself from this conversation. Franklin promised to call me again within the next few days.

He called again Sunday (I missed the call). He called on Halloween (i missed it). He called tonight, I picked up. He promised to call again in the next few days, sadly I don't think that the energy the Psychic saw was leading him to me. In fact I'm fairly certain that the energy should be moving him Far Far Far Away!